Friday, June 25, 2010

Behavior Issues

As I mentioned earlier, we've been having a big problem with tantrums around here. They happen 2 or 3 times a day, most often when we are leaving someplace he would rather stay (like the park). I've tried to ignore them and I certainly don't give into them -- which means I am frequently shoving a thrashing toddler into a stroller. I've been taking this approach for about a year now -- thinking at some point he would figure out that he wasn't getting anywhere with his behavior and give up. But, of course, this is Elliot and, if he is anything, he is stubborn. Lately he has decided that he doesn't like it when I ignore him, so he has starting escalating his behavior -- by hitting me, kicking me or scratching my face. I think I need to escalate my approach in response -- with some seriously negative consequences. Hit him where it hurts, so to speak. I just have no clue what those ought to be (and yes, we already do time outs). Any thoughts?

7 comments:

Angela Jensen said...

I have a solution, but I can't post it because it sounds too mean. Email me.

Olivia McCord said...

Whatever he does to you, do it back. Kick him, hit him, scratch his face. It worked with Holden and he's much better now but it was really hard to do. Good luck!

kate said...

so hard! my j. really has me at the end of my rope right now. it's so hard to know what to do without totally damaging our relationship forever. if you find something that works short of corporal punishment, please tell me! right now the thing working for us (sometimes) is if i can keep my cool long enough to smother her with love and affection, she calms down a lot faster and we can work a deal. usually i'm so appalled by what she's doing that i just freak out and toss her in time out, and then things get worse fast. good luck dear!

Brian and Alia Cherry said...

Thanks for figuring this all out first sis!

Kathryn Palmer said...

Duffy and I read a great book called 1,2,3 Magic. We have really liked the approach taught in this book. Joseph has responded well to it. It requires no yelling, spanking, hitting, or scratching on your part. I highly recommend this book. Check it out!

Miss Frazzled said...

I really have no clue. Still working on it. I will say that spanking and yelling don't work well over here. I seriously think some kids are just going to be extra hard to parent, and there's not much to do but constantly give them love and positive reinforcement, and send them to their rooms/stroller when they are causing trouble. Be firm, be consistent, but be nice. I'll try and follow my own advice. Most days are a fail.

Ali said...

We have always had a lot of luck with a parenting philosophy called "Love and Logic" it is all about agency and natural consequences. It makes your child's choices the bad guy and not you. You could check out the book "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood". Or email me and I will tell you more. It fits really well with the Gospel, and from my background in Psychology, and working with teenage girls in residential treatment, I think it is wonderful! Good luck!